She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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