Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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