I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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