Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
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Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
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I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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