You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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