you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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