Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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