my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We have started to decorate penises.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
i now understand why vodka
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize