Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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