He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It's official drugs can't kill me
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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