I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize