Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize