This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize