We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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