I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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