hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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