I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
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He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
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I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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