Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed on how many people?
His hands were made for my vagina.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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