I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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