I wish they made helmets for livers.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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