I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize