weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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