dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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