I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a kid would responsible me up
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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