3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
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I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
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I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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