I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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