i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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