at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize