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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I touched a dick in church today
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