just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize