So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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