i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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