I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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