so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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