just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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