Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize