Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize