We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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