3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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