We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
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My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
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You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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