at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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