you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
it was like eating out sand paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize