Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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