I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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