This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Randomize