you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize