Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize