good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
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i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
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Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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