Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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