It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
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Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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