we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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