So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
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work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
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How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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